THE GRAVY TRAIN KEEPS ON TRUCKIN'

NOTES FROM TAIWAN #3

June 1st, 2008
THE GRAVY TRAIN KEEPS ON TRUCKIN'

The smile that I had fallen asleep with remained as I awoke and realized "I am in Taiwan." I roused from my slumber with renewed vitality (it usually takes me several hours to awaken), grabbed a snack at the 7-11, and hopped onto the bus to see if I could make my way to my work by myself.

I had been told that being whitey, I would be gawked at all the time. On the bus, I was gawked at for the first time since arriving in Taiwan. A little girl stared at me for the whole bus ride, hiding behind her mom's head every time I looked at her and smiled. I have been called many things, but intimidating is definitely not one of them. Despite this occurrence, though, I hadn't received any stares from anyone else. Even though I'm currently in the vast minority (I would bet over 99% of the people I have seen since being her have been Taiwanese), Western culture has permeated Taiwan to point that it's no big deal for the locals to see a white person walking down the street. At this point I can only speak for Taipei, though, so our planned travels to southern Taiwan might yield a different reaction.

I grew up in a mostly white middle class environment, but living in diverse LA for years gives one a taste of cultural and ethnic difference. But it is a completely different experience to be in a foreign country without knowing how to speak the language. It becomes a little difficult to get by (ordering food, finding directions), and this is in a place where many people speak at least some English. It only took a short time in Taipei to understand how difficult it could be for someone in a similar situation without the benefit of others knowing a bit of the only language that person speaks. It doesn't take long to adjust to not understanding most of what you hear. It's a strange occurrence, but not necessarily a bad one. I actually think that not understanding most of what is said around me has enriched my experience here thus far. Don't get me wrong, speaking Mandarin would be a godsend right now, but not having that knowledge has not made getting by impossible, either.

Anyways, due to the small and easily-missable appearance of my job site, and my own complete and utter lack of direction, I walked right by it without realizing where I was going. I stumbled upon the Microsoft School of the Future (who knows what goes on in there), and eventually the Living Mall. This building I originally mistook for a prison or mental institution, due to is massive, imposing walls, and absence of windows, which are replaced by small portholes. The building's other side is constructed in the shape of a sphere, making for some very interesting architecture. After perusing this interesting building for a while, I made my way back to my work, finding it this time remember that it is sandwiched between a hospital and a boba tea shop. Getting injured has never been so delicious.

Upon my return, I was reunited with some of my alumni and a few NTU students, and we took the friendly MRT to the Longshan Temple, one of the largest in Taipei. But before we entered its holy gates, we made a quick stop at a nearby market to grab some noodles and compare American and Mandarin animal sounds (ducks sound silly here). Wandering into a back alley, we found a collection of massage parlors, snake vendors, and sex shops. After growing tired of the phallus overload this back alley provided, we entered Longshan. Immediately upon entering, we ran into a large group of Japanese tourists, half of which were taking pictures and video, and the other half posing for the first. To say it was a bit strange would be an understatement. Following in their wake, we took in the ornate statues and intricately designed artwork that covered every inch of the Temple. We also visited the individual shrines of various gods. Masses of people swarmed in and out of praying areas, carrying incense and bowing repeatedly as they prayed. Considering the height at which many people stood (compared to us gangly Americans), as well as the height at which they were holding the incense (just high enough reach our eyeline) it's a miracle we all escaped with our eyes intact.

Before we left the temple, we partook in having our fortunes read. It was a little more difficult than just asking. I needed to:

1) Throw down two pieces of wood shaped like orange slices, while asking (mentally) if I could have my fortune read. If they landed on opposit sides it was a yes, same sides a no. Three yeses were needed before progressing.
2) After getting three yeses, I then had to ask (mentally again) my question for the fortune teller. Another three yeses were needed. The gods must have hated me that day, because it took especially long for me to get this far.
3) With six total "yes" responses, I then made my way to a bucket of long wooden sticks. After shuffling them around until one surfaced above the rest, I used the number on this particular stick to take my paper fortune from the respectively-numbered box
4) This slip of my paper, containing my future, was taken to a fortune reader. Except instead of a mystical, white bearded sage surrounded by candles and burning incense, my fortune teller instead wore a dress shirt, tie, and spectacles, and sat behind a glass window, much like a bank teller. With the help of Jeanie, my fortune was translated to, basically, "work hard". I compared my fortunes with everyone else: work hard, work hard, work hard, etc. Hmmmm...

Since our journey back to the hotel took us near a technology market, we made a quick stop here. Taiwan is notorious for its booming technology sector, as the tiny island has become a leader in the global technology industry. It's a clear sign of the countries growth and development when stepping into one of these crowded markets makes you feel as if you are stepping into the future. Laptops, cameras, camcorders, HDTVs, you name it, it was at this market, and for dirt cheap. Hundreds of people cram into narrow tents to hawk and barter. I bought a new battery for my dying camera at about 10% the cost of what it would have been in the States. Being a geek, this place became my new heaven.

After another regroup back at the hotel, we made haste to the Shilin Night Market. You may not have heard much about Taiwan. But if you have, it's a safe bet to say you have heard of Taiwan's notorious night markets. I wasn't quite prepared for so much chaos and awesome. Underneath a giant tent, which spans acres, dozens upon dozens of food, clothes, and whatever else you could possibly imagine. You don't really walk through this market. Instead you shuffle your feet, and whatever way the crowd is flowing, that's the way you are going. And it is so hot and humid inside that tent, with countless stoves cooking food and boiling soup, it was as if we were in test facility for jungle ecology, complete with its own precipitation system. I tried a bunch of different foods, including red bean cakes, chicken hearts (which taste like...chicken) and the infamous Stinky Tofu. This Tofu is so rank that even many of the locals dare not eat it. It doesn't taste too bad (soggy bread with an aftertaste of gym socks), but the smell... Oh god the smell. It smells like a combination of ass, feet, and a few other unpleasant odors I don't care to mention.

Bellies full, we left the food section of the market and entered the shopping corner. I had to restrain myself from getting a custom bobble head of myself from one of the shops. Maybe later. The shopping center gave way to the pet area, where even a cold-hearted bastard like me couldn't help but be reduced to "Awwwwwwwww." The little piggy was especially cute.

And after the pet section came the carnival games. Every single carnival game in the history of existence was there. We stopped at the baseball throwing alley, where Ben (a baseball player of several years) started warming up his throwing arm. Then, as soon as he picked up a ball, dozens of Taiwanese flocked around to watch the American do what Americans do best: play baseball. I have never seen so many people gather in one place so quickly. Needless to say, it wasn't Ben's night, nor neither of ours, as we all took turns at the plate, and no one have much luck with hitting the targets. As the few pitches were thrown, our fan club disappeared, disappointed by the poor display of athletic acumen that our physical appearance had promised to deliver. That night, we failed as American cultural ambassadors. The secret is out: some Americans suck at sports.

With this humorous event over, we clawed our way upstream and out of the market and made our way back to the hotel on a combo of MRTs and buses. Before retiring, the second installment of Beer in the Park was upheld, this time with a can of Bar Beer (delicious stuff). After, and exhausted yet again after another day of awesome, I collapsed onto bed. Then, for the first time on this trip, I felt a little sense of dread: work started tomorrow.